THE DAY I ALMOST MADE IT TO CHURCH

I'm not overdoing this, am l? All of last night was spent just mastering that track - Am I not drifting back into that past? I vowed I wasn't going to rap again. Well it still doesn't change the fact that I am a new being even if I rap...Waking up every morning in an orange couch behind four walls painted orange is becoming boring. But I never thought sleeping inside a couch could be so much fun. One day I would definitely want to wake up with someone I love inside a couch, one that is near to the  window like mine - but inside a manor with the widest window in the world so that I can harvest plenty of sunshine. But this one has  patches all over it. Haha...you're funny Joel. Do you remember how you used to be obsessed with keeping it spotless? Now you walk all over it and even step on it right from the bathroom to pick up stuff from the top of the wardrobe. Ah, did I really say that about myself the other day? I need to stop telling people that I am a night person, but I struggle to wake up in the morning. It makes you out to be lazy but I am not lazy, I'm just misunderstood. Looks like I might have to cancel this trip, but I am avoiding just the thought of it, so that I don't make it concrete. There is nothing at all known that will prevent me from making it there today. Except if it's not in God's perfect will - which is unknown but known. Man, you don't want to walk out of God's perfect will, it's dangerous! Get thee behind me Satan, I can never have an accident. Yes I may be out of God's will but it doesn't change the fact that I cannot die. What's that sound in the bathroom? Oh no she beat me to it again. I'm just going to go and insist that I shower first because I have more pressing things to do - and it's my house. '...yesterday is the past, tomorrow is the future and today is a gift that's why it's called the present...Lala lala laa....Uh this Jahazel, the kids call me spit bars here...' I'm wondering who this Jahazel dude might be, I like his flow. Wow, he's sure been through a lot though. His friend died from overdose. OK, it's time to get out of here now. So how is it going to be like? Shower, dress up? Ah - very few unworn underwears today, wish I had all my favorite ones clean since I will be travelling. Oh Lord I have made nothing ready for this trip of mine. And think of it, that Brother Cirlef called only last night that I should make all the arrangements for the celebration of Brother Nalla's birthday, might all be part of the reason why this trip may not happen. Yet as I said I wouldn't like to project the thought. The meeting after church today with leaders should not be missed - that will be suicidal, it's too much grace to miss!  The man of God has just returned from his pilgrimage. But my travel is also a ministry assignment. Honestly, I am not here in the moment - not present, not even the coolness of the water in my skin some minutes ago was felt.